Top 10 Stories We Thought Were Funny This Week

Welcome to the AllNews roundup of the funny stories that made the round during the week.

We start with the beans palaver. Why would someone buy beans and refuse to pay till it becomes a court case? Then we have the advocacy for a woman president. We would say that is soothing and not funny funny. So the former vice president is warming up to join Arsenal FC, maybe as a coach, what do you say? And then there is the young man that stole two dogs, why? From UFC to dancing is a far cry but you have to see what the Nigerian Nightmare has in store. A wife is allowed to call here husband by any name, isn't she? But Elsie Okpocha has a message for Rosy Meurer.

How bad can a husband be to warrant bathing his tool in hot water? Worse still this wife made her husband burn himself down below. Why in the world would anyone want to stone a policeman? Just why? Well we know four folks that may have an answer. The hunter becomes the hunted in Kano as Hisbah official is nabbed meeting a married woman in a hotel. But why should that be trouble? Tell us what you think about that too. Lastly, if you are looking to marry without spending too much money you can consider marrying from and in Gumel Local Government, Jigawa State.

We invite you to come with us for the funny stories for the week. If you have think we have left some out, feel free to let us know in the comment section below too. 

1. Three Men In Court For Refusing To Pay For Beans

Miss Mercy Elisha, a beans seller, on Thursday, dragged three of her customers before a Magistrates' court in Kafanchan, Kaduna State, over their refusal to settle a debt of N226,000.

The alleged debtors, Marshall Timothy, Lami Christopher, and Baiwa Richard were docked on two counts of breach of trust and cheating, contrary to sections 296 and 307 of the Kaduna State Penal Code Law, 2017. Read more here.

2. 2023 Presidency: Try A Woman And Nigeria Would Be Better, Says Akwa Ibom, Deputy Speaker

Following the emergence of Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala as the head of the World Trade Organization, the Deputy Speaker, Akwa Ibom State House of Assembly, Rt. Hon. Felicia Bassey is making a case for a woman as president of Nigeria.

Bassey said Nigerian women have the intellectual capacity and other endowments to lead the country just like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and Kamala Harris, Vice President of the United States of America (USA). Read more here.

3. Atiku Set For Arsenal Transfer

Former vice president of Nigeria and presidential candidate of the People's Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar may be changing careers from politics and business to football soon.

 In a recent video posted by his son Mustapha 'Musty' Abubakar on  Twitter, Atiku was seen kicking a football and enjoying his leisure time without stress. Musty captioned the video: "Here's my dad @atiku getting ready ahead of next summer's transfer window". Read more here.

4. Teenager Gets 6 Months Imprisonment For Stealing Dogs

A Central Area Court sitting in Kasuwan Nama in Jos on Friday sentenced a 15-year-old student, Bilal Ibrahim, to six months in prison for stealing two dogs.

A panel of two magistrates, Ghazali Adam and Hyacinth Dolnaan, who sentenced Ibrahim after he pleaded guilty to the offense, however, gave him an option to pay a fine of N20,000 or spend three months in prison. Read more here.

5. UFC Champion Kamaru Usman Set To Become A Dancer

Nigerian UFC champion Kamaru Usman has made his plan to become a dancer.

Following his impressive win over Gilbert Burns over the weekend, Kamaru Usman made history by breaking the record for the most consecutive welterweight wins in the UFC - he now has 13 straight victories. The record was formerly held by Georges St-Pierre who had 12 straight victories. Read more here.

6. Basketmouth's Wife Takes A Swipe At Rosy Meurer

Elsie Okpocha, wife of popular Nigerian comedian Bright 'Basketmouth' Okpocha, took a jab at Rosy Meurer for referring to her husband as "Mr. Churchill" in a recent video. Meurer had posted a video in response to allegations of breaking Olakunle Churchill and Tonto Dikeh's marriage.

In the short video posted on her Instagram page, the 29-year-old actress was seen referring to her husband as "Mr. Churchill." Read more here. 

7. Woman Charged For Pouring Hot Water On Husband's Penis

Sumayya Shu'aibu, a housewife on Monday, appeared before a Chief Magistrate's Court sitting in Kano for allegedly pouring hot water in a kettle and letting her husband use the content.

Shu'aibu, whose age was not provided by the court, is a resident in Mijinbir Local Government Area of Kano. She is being charged with causing grievous hurt which she pleaded not guilty for. Read more here.

8. 4 In Court For Stoning Police Officers In Lagos

Four men who allegedly attacked a police patrol team, throwing stones at the officers appeared before an Ogudu Magistrates’ Court in Lagos Thursday.

Abiodun Oke, 25; Jamiu Aminulahi, 24; Michael Kelechi, 30; and Innocent Ikenna, 22, all residing in Ketu area of Lagos, are facing a three-count charge of conspiracy, assault, and damage to property. Read more here

9. Popular Hisbah Official In Trouble For Meeting Married Woman in Hotel

The Kano State Hisbah Board has set up a five-man panel to investigate its official, Sani Uba Rimo, for being found with a married woman in a hotel.

Rimo, who is the Official in Charge of Anti-Begging, was apprehended by the Police in Downtown Hotel in Sabon Gari area of Kano metropolis on Monday night. Read more here

10. LGA Bans Expensive Wedding Ceremonies

The Local Government Council Chairman of Gumel, Jigawa State, Aminu Sani has said the presentation of gifts, horse riding, alien ceremonies and musicals during wedding ceremonies now attract a penalty of imprisonment or payment of fines.

The Council Chairman made this known in a statement titled the marriage expenses control bill signed and directed to the area’s chief imam on Wednesday. Read more here